CHRIST NEVER SHOWED UP!

I WAS A DUPE! A REPORT BY JOE

I wantd to tell you what a dope I waS and the way to do that is to let you read something I rote back in the day of Stupid Joe, the Joe that blieved in a Jesus who would open the door and say Hey JOE good to see you, welcom to the gates of Heavan and whoops looks lik you goota go joe, but please come back soon. I will be waiting." (He won't becuz see Tietle abovve)

But you see my hands shake they shake. other things too. But the birilliant doctosrs who tooke joe apart and Put him back together HIs brain, well they a gave me this medicin e for helping the hands. Mea nd Ashely took it together an it made her spleep and WOW DId made my hands better

So I can shanstribe this old story OLD JOe, stupID JO wrote, I can type better. Its funny czu my pal Jermy from Hospital would type mY e-mails for me whwn I was so sick in bed, to fridnds and to socalled friend s in the Chrsitina puppet world and he couldnt hlep but fun it up! Jermey was a good friend so sometms he wold put in little jokes from JER (which is him Jermemy) and tlell me about them lateror not.

SO here goes:

MY HERO JESUS CHRIST (gagggg! Me: JMCP, not JER, ha!)

For class today, we were asked to write about a heoro of ours. IT could be a hero from our time, a distant time. or a general ida of a person who we find heroic. AFfter much thoguht and consiceration, I have decided to wreitre abou t a Person (note the UPlper case, I todl you I waws a Good Chrisitan. JMCP) who is my best hero. HIs sname is Jesus Christ.

Some may say taht I am not being Secular in my seleciton. Let us looka t the roots of the word "Secular" (I bet you bring out the dictionary now, boy! JER). WEBSTER'S NEW WORLD DICTIONARY defines "Secular" as (I knew it! JER): secular, adj 1. of or belionging to the world and wolrding thingas as distingquided from the church and religious affairs; not sacred or religious : temporal; worldly".

This is is crux of my agurement. IF secular describes something "worldly" or 2. "Of this world", then Jeesus is sercainly my hero of this world. He came to this world to save all of makind! (And I did it. JC) What could be more "worldy" than that. Websters goes on to describe the word "seuclar" (here he goes again! JER) as: 3. coming oor happeing only once in an age or cntury. Christ's appearance only happened once! In the entire History of the world. (And then he was too tired to return, the ppoor little Sleepy Savior. JMCP)

Here are some more reasons why Jesus Christ is my hero (Bring it on. JC): He is a good expample to children (if youwant your kids to hang outa at home allday and suck on the bong. JMCP), He was kind to the sick and the elderly, He raised the dead (my kind of party. JC), and told storys that even today people listen to and learn (alot of lies. JMCP_) alot about life.

In summary (Thank God. JER), I would like to say that JEsus is my hero because He is not a secular God, but a person like you an d me (who happens to like an evening of 'za and chilllin' by the tube. "judge not, lest..." get it? JC) who was of this world and is an admirlable role model.

(GAG!!!! SPITA ND GAG! from your heroo JMCP, which is me, Joe Mcpuppet, briniging you the real deal eeven if the pills make him gag, my hands worlded and I coul d write this SHIT out!

Now You kno w how deeply LLAME I was. I wrot that story wthen I was GUESS? 11, 12?, 13? KEeep going, 14, 16?, no! 17 years old!

I gotta make up for lost time! It's party time! SAince my fingers wwork now and ALshelys asleep it's a sEX PARYTY! Jsut me an d JOe. (Spare us the detalils. JER)

That Jeremy!