CHRIST NEVER SHOWED UP!

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or NOT?

Let's Guess Together? WHO'S GONNA MISS THE RAPTURE?

That's right, Jesus will TAKE A PASS.

My frienedd JOel who has a smarter brother named Richard wrote me an the dummy said, QUOUTE Don't worry JOe, waiting for salvation is like waiting on a pacakge in the mail. Just when you thjink i't's never cominm, Jesus shows up!"

Nice try, dummy! I wasn't even waiting, I was THERE! Iwas DEAD! I saw the light and heard the trumpets...Eneter Jesus stage left, right?! 'where is he", the stagehands whisper, the audiance waits, I'M SERIOUSLY DYING, and no show from the primadonna! Sticke up the band and turn on the houselights people cuz JESUS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!

So, all of you who are think thinking that the rapturie is coming -- SUR! It's coming. And then it's hell on earth, biblical apocaplyse! And in the end Jesus comes and saves everyong! RIght? RiGHT!?

WRONG?! Jesus will be in the alley blowing doobies with the band!

STILL GUESSING? I WAS A CHRISTIAN!

LIke I said, I wrote plays for Chilrfdren at the Chruch. I wrote PUPPET PLAYS and here's one:

PuppetZ Wild! PuppetZ Wild! PuppetZ Wild! PuppetZ Wild!

THE PRODIGAL SON!

TOM
Honey, I'm home from the factory!

SARAH
I'm pregnant, Tom!

TOM
Oh no! I mean, oh yes!

RING RING!

PHONE MACHINE
Tom, it's your father. Please come
home. I forgive you. BEEP!

TOM
That jerk!

SARAH
Tom, what about the baby?!

TOM
I hate my father!

SARAH
The baby!!!

TOM
Let's go.

A PLANE FLIES!

TOM
Here we are in Colorado.

TOM'S BROTHER
Tom? Sarah? Dad's waiting.

TOM
Let's go!

FATHER'S PLACE.

FATHER
Tom, Sarah, welcome!

TOM
Whatever!

SARAH
Hi Tom's Father!

FATHER
Let me get you a chair, Tom. And
Sarah, you are pregnant, here is a
soft cushion to sleep on. I love you
both.

SARAH
Thank you.

TOM
You suck, dad!

TOM'S BROTHER
Time for bed.

A BEDROOM.

SARAH
Your father is nice. He wants to help
with the baby.

TOM
I don't trust him.

They hear singing.

SARAH
What's that?

TOM
Let's investigate!

A CHURCH.

CHOIR
SINGING -- Let us praise His Name! He
is the Lord Above! He helps us to be
ourselves!

SARAH
See, Tom, it's wonderful. Your father
is a great man.

TOM
I can't believe it...

SARAH
Hey, Choir! Thank you for singing
about God and Jesus!

CHOIR
"Singing about God and Jesus?" We are
singing about Tom's father! We are a
cult and believe that Tom's father is
God!

TOM
I knew it!

FATHER
I'm going to kill you!!!!

SARAH
Look out, Tom, he has an axe!

FATHER
Die, die, die, die!

PuppetZ Wild! PuppetZ Wild! PuppetZ Wild! PuppetZ Wild!

Thank you thank you! And this was indeed a good play and I wrote manby more and I will share then with you. but it didn't mattter did it whan I was dead-- no!

YES: I saw the light./
NO: I did not see Jsus!
WhY: BECAUSE HE NEVER SHOWED UP!

Now you you know why Iam angry!

Guess again?! NEVER BABTISED, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Let's go back to the beginning, people. ai I have never hated anyone when I was in the womb of the mother. I was just a freely peacful person who didn't have a care in teh world, what did I know about a World!

I imagine I would sit and wonder and ponder the funiver, univerise and have fun with my little body and who's looking so what's the harM?

THen I'm here and you all are asking ME TO GO TO CHURCH?!

This won't stop cux the Government will pay me to tell this WINK WINK!

Guess what? WE'RE ALL ALONE!

I'm Joe Mcpuppet! I'm nearly 20 today. WHY SHOULD I READ THIS?! How about this: I survived a NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE. They took my brain out of my body and *I came back. I saw this LIGHT?! and I didn't seee any of the people you love an wish you could see again, Spot and Rover, and Billy and your mom, no one, not even Jesus, who FAILED TO SHOW UP!

I have been given a gift and that gift will be shared with you every day and every time I can find a computer to let me a friend woho will let me post on their computer. Governt money is coming.

Guess what?