CHRIST NEVER SHOWED UP!

I know youvve ben waiting for this and Joe is srry to make you wait bbut Joe is thinking thining, using th e money wisely an d finally after WORKING so hard: whispper whsipper joe has figured it out , joe has fifugrd it out, jOe ghas figured it


JOE HAS FIGURED IT OUT!

HOw have THE GREAT THINKERS OF ALL TIME MISSED THIS SHIT!

JOE's THEORY: Here GOes:

The anati shake drugs are kickikng in. NO Ashsley Distrtactions this time; PURE INTELELCT!

HERE IN JOE EXAMINS THE KNOWNE EVIDENC and HIS PSERSONAL EXPERICNE And THE HISTORY OF MANKICND AND DECIDSES ABOUT THE

PROJECT! (THE TRUTH!)

Sources are the Bible (ILiars) and Joe's Damn Expericence and INTELLECT!

HERE" GOES:

THEORY BEGINS: Imaagine some guy you kwno some rich kid! He's growing up in a real nice place with a lot of comfy stuff an d av very powerful POWERful dad! This kid -- I ppromise you that you know wtthis kid. an d what does this kid ddo. Wel, Dad wants him to take over the facrotory or wwhatever, but this kid he has DREWASMS, he has asppsperarintsions! He wants s to stick to tthe old man and HEad out on his onwn!

Hitch hike! New w places! Joe has fel t it! Bobttleed up cuz of THE LIE but did and does feelt it!

MAKE your OWN name!

Kid leaves home: see ya pops! Dad all: "Good Luck, this will end badly I know" bnut fuck him~!

Imaginae now THIS: This kid, this pridvidedcly Kid, the most previedleded KID in al lo f history, with the powerruful Fahter, the MOST POWerful FAtrther DAD of all time:

HE's JESUS: And HE IS goonna REBEL BIG TIME!

"OUT OF HEre!" (out of Heavn) an d off to Dad's old kickking grounds where DAd made things and then retired! "I'm Back" and gets a mama and gets some cul job cutting shit up an d putting it back ttogether in the shape of schairs and shit (an d THE DUMB FUCK DOn't Even know that he is tyrin to be jus tlike old Dad -= making something new, like a world, like a EARTH, Dummie!)

THen people estart to recognixze him. First Jon the Bbptist: "That dude looks like God!" "HE IS GOD!" What a a party! Dude is a ROCK STAR!

Bunch o groupies, a band, 12 dudes follw him around, bzanging that bitrch MAry, PISSING PEOPLE OFF LEFT AN RIGHT ("scrw you Dad!") an finallwy,

"Let's Go for it!" He's totatlly GOING FOR It, doing uNATTRAUAL shit like making dead peole get up and piss and talk and make sex (with a dead guy? No thanks you fuckin g GoTH you!)

The onlyl Cool Guy maong thim (GUess?) goes; COOL IT. Tha'ts not what SUPERSTAR wants to hear: What he wants to hear is "Do the Whole PILE dude!" and " CHGU CHUG CHUG!" And "I swallow" sooooooo

sooooo

soooo

ONTO JERUSELEUM (This idea is stil l new to JOE, but I think I got it right when he KICKS OVER SOME SHIT IN THE TEMPLE (Joe admires this much) and pisses off the Church fucks in charger (MORE respect from Joe) and gernerally makes a big PAIN in the ASs out of himself

for what reeasaon?

Answer 1) the cool reason: cuz he really meant it, he meant this: FUCK IT! He meant that his wholee trip to earth had a REAL MESSAGE which was "FUCK IT!" Fuck this place, and fuck how his father set it up, like we ALL DIE and FUCK people who try to make SENDSE of it all and ESPECIALLY FUck them who think they go t it ALL FIGURED OUT!
In thies case, JESUE woould remain my hero (Despiete our history) and would amke the ultimate sense OF all TIME!

ANswer 2) Rinng! Ring! RINNNG! God: "hello? i't late to be callin'..." JC: "Dad it's me..." GOD: "Son, I bin so worried.." JE C:
"Dadddy, I wan to to come home..."

SURVEy SAYS: NNNUMVER 2!

Self -destruct and DIE equals = TIcket home!

So, when they tell You abou tthe way Jesuss suffered so Nobly, the PUssy had a little smile on his face!

All 50 lashes (yee hoo, wish I coulda seen that shit!) "On my way home to daddy!"

ALL THAT SUffering shit -- used to make Joe cry, now a goddam Comeedy, died for MY SINS?! DIED for ALL of MANKIND?!

Died to get back home to the compfy COUCH;

One last word from JC on the Cross: "Father, Why have you forsaken me!" LOok it up in Mark and Lucke! It's there. (Ttranslation: Dude, I thoufht we ha d a deal! Why u pullin all this shit an making me suffer a bit , CRYBABY SAYS: IT IS FINISHED!

JOE IS FINISHED: rered your bible, it all makes snese this way.

Any questions?<strong>pa

SECOND LEG IS COMPLETEE!

The plan is coming togggether niccely. Tun in tommroorw for th e 3rd and fianal piece of the plan.

Hear that Jeusus! Joe's on his way bnack!

I TOOK A SHIT THAT LOOKES LIKE JESUS CHRIST!

OK if i were HIndud, it'd look like BUdha, if I wer a JEw, it's ABe ra H!am, and Muhmaden, fuck you ttoo!

Joe JOE thinks ans THINKS: and what is the answer:

Here is a thought: Joe sitsss down on the towliet and take s the bibbbest poop of his life; Joe lifts the left HTE LEFT leg LEG and looks down, whwt does he seee: A OOP!

A POOP That may or may not rememble his forMRE Lordd and SAvior hOW the Hell wolud he nokw if Jesus look LIke that poop Cux Jesus was prorbably on his own titilte trhrone pisssina gng groanning and birhting a Jesus Jr.

AND look ing at prorno while doing so: (the pissing and ppoioping and lloing at poring).

WHAT"sd THE POINT: THe point is TUNE IN TOMMORROOOOW: CUZ JOE sits in his littl room hatching ideas and makin plan s and TOMOOROWQ: JOE begins:

THE SECEND HALF OF THE TRIANGLE OF the TEMPle OF JOe; Get it; First half done (Secret!)

Stop readign this stop reading thsithi sotn I wil do it!

Is my Blog HOT
or NOT?

GOD'S HANDS

I haave to laugh. THeese pepoele I know , these epeople from my FORMER "Church" -- thy kkeep tryint to find me eo to "reach out" to SHUT ME up!

Why? Cuz Hthey see God's shands workin g in their lives, they let JESus in tot their hearsts and he transformed theme blah blah balh....

Look, people, JEUSUS is no t in your rheart, he is on the couch! He sis susrfint the web for porno hand worrying when Buddha is comming by with the kind kind bud he get from HIS peoploE!

OH COME ON! ITF GOd's HANDS could workr miracles they might slap sosme sens in to THE SON. But they do nothing.
THUS
THEY dod nothing for YOU! Nothing for JOe!

LEAve Me ALONE!

TEHCHINAL DIFFICALUTIES~!

Who wants s to Stop Joe? Is it JEsus? (Too stoneed) The Govrnt? (on my side) Satan? (on JOe's sisde). JOel is s of curse tryint to reach out tot "bring back" Joe e to the fold, to Jeusus lOVe, well, Joe is Better than that No2w!

So who?!

SOMEONE. QWUESTION MARK. And mark that AS A MSyter!Y!

Who LOOOOOVES JOE: THA't's Joe Micpuppet! And

THIS Letter from RIchard J: Iin enetirety:

"Joe. Are you familiar with TARGET? I remember when I was growing up in
Minnesota, people used to shoot holes in the TARGET sign. I always
thought to myself, "Why TARGET a sign, when you can TARGET those who work
against the Lord?" You have a chance to redeem yourself...maybe.

Richard J.

P.S.: Joel can't help you.
"

Abou t that PS, Richard Ja- well NO SHIT! Thats sossmeithign that Two Warrior s susch as Ourcselves konw for sure. He Joeel is cute, he has littl blond curls and sings litke a little angle, he is devotted to churhc, he titthes 20 percent which is twice what pastor billy bu k fuck wants and he kisss s his moomy goodntight everythingt, he is st the little golden speecial boy, but

YOUA N D ME RICHAR! WE is scarrred bny Chrsit! Come see th scars I accumulated a daily!

Quwesitong? Why a 87 Civic?