CHRIST NEVER SHOWED UP!

I'm Jeremy. I am Joe's physical trainer and friend. Joe has asked me to access his computer account and add this comment to his computer account.

His comment is that he is back in the hospital with me and will be returning soon to his project. He asks you not to worry.

This is Joe's message. Speaking as Jeremy, I must ask you to pray for this poor sick boy.

JOE AASSKS DANGEROUS QUESTIONS:

Do Animals have souls an d meet us in Heaven?

Doeas any body UP THERE really give a shit What we do on earth (like good or bad) ass long as we say”ILOVE YOU SPECIAL BOY!” at the end?

sINCE the SPECIAL book about the SPECIAL boy says IN THE LAST CHAPERTER that worl will end soon – does this mean we should shit on it an d plunder it and all that shit? I mean, That’s Joe’s plan and why isn’t that Un-Christian!

I mean I HATE CHRISTIAANAS! I HATE ME AND I AM ONE (irreversible. JC holds a special place in heaven for Joe – at the end of the line o f greeters

Case in point: The end is coming for some Hobo som tramp som e jerk on the side o f a highway. Joe is theree. Joe say: ALL EVIL INTENT: JOE SAY:

“Deny him three time s and calling 911 (BTW, Joe has a cellphone now! E-mail me an I Might give number it to you……..Maybe)

And drifter say: “Lor , I except you as my lor and savor please take meMatthew as a friend to heven!”

HE goes? This loser?

And What if Joe is helpl him finish those words, l9ike he’s mublimg and chokcing and Joe helps? Filling in words and stuff. Does that CXOUNT!?!

Dude, Make the rules a lttle easier!

DO THE BIRDS THAT SIN G OUT MY WINDOW HAVE SOULS?!

Does the Red Dog that licks my hand in the morning and makees Joe happy for a moment on his way to all his evil shit? A SOUL?

Wha about tha littl grey cat who sits UNDER THE WHEEL OF a car -- does that sweet fragile little thing havvce a soul?> He breaks Joe's heart

All the gerbils Joe "loaned" to little special childrerrn in Church School-- bond--if they die, when they die, JOE cousel theses little kids (with problems) ans say"There is the story of th RAINBOW BRIDBE, a placerr where the ansimals wait for you and play all day and all night, happy and togther, ant then one day, they wag their tail real hard or MEOW real LOUD. or "Chuck chuck(That gerbil shounD) and say, "MY master/owner/my loved LOVED one is here to get me and all lick and cuddle you and you cross the brideg togeter to the most wonderful place of all, Hewavn, and you are together forever."

Question: JOe what's the anser:

JOE (with the anser): I DON"T know.

Stop chirping? Meowing bakring and lookng cute under car wheels? Stop licking hands and helpin children to groww just because Joe has bbben to the place where the ansswers arew and none were forthcoming?

Jus because Jesus is a LITRTLE BITCH fwho cares so littttle that he'd rather let us all wONDER and NEVER TELL US!

Damn. Joe ffeeel jipped big time.

WANT to TEll YOU! CANI"T!CAiNT

SOOOO SICK!

B4rain stop hurting! I have a temple to buld and two movies to make!

MEL?!!

JOE SPENT!

Too ti4red for even daily routin: 3 screenings of Passion O Christ; whack in bathrroom between each; beat up homelless fellas afer! Too tiered.

Insted: in bed, listeening, watching my own mvies: you know the ones! I wrotte the SEQUELS! PASSION 2 Passion ##3!

Back to bed (wink wink) hope your nights are as sweet as JoeS!

MOVE OVER HOLLYWOOD _HERE"S PASSION #3: REVENGE!

Whenen you a re on a roll, well JOe is on that roll! Even the chattttere chatter of that DUBM FUCK in Group , you know the type, chattter chatter, you mind turn offk but not todday when FRODO Say:

"blah blah meds bla blah you scaareme blah blah callin nurese blah balh best film ever made(Joe ears perk up) blah blah "RUTURN OF KING":

WHITE LIGHT! The whole thing FLASH in a a second JOe esees it: the movie. The THIRD MOVIE IN THE THREE MOVIE THING!

PASSION 1: Christfuck hurt alolt and ddies so terrificially! Wlell done to Mel! Hatts are off! Berst movie ever! A date flicka nd a wondereful way to spen d a lonely night alone (wink wink)!

PASSION! 2: Joe's turn: it's the biblically accuarate events after the ec cruxixivision whichi s Jsue being a bummmer siticking around on earth bleeding and shit all OVER EVERYONE and finally going home to HEAVEN ewhere his ass i s kicked in many many wayS (See below forr complete outline, HOLLYWOOD AGENTS!)

AND NOW!

WHITE LIGHT:

PASSSION 3: THE RETURN OF JESUS TO EARTH;

For brevity sakke, I gibv e you the ttrailer:Goes like this:

DEEP{ Voic e
(Maybe John Candy, deep and DDEEP AND TOUGH like Johnny C.):
DEEP{ Voic e

"After the Raapature. (puase) After a many years of tribblulation (apuase). The People of Planet Earth havvve been waiting . and waiting for A Hero!"

ClOSE Up on SPECIAL BOY: JESUS looking all preety.

DEEP VOICee Again:"waitng for JEsus."

CLOSUP ON JESUS NOW: HIs fac e is all round and big OVAL MOUTH going "OH SHIT!"

ME: "WAITING TO KICK HIS ASS!"

Cuz Jesus foreget about me waiting for him and building a AREMY (shit, when that rapture shit hapen who you gonna Call: Ghosbuster (a laugh riot, BTW) or JOE MCPFUC KING PUPPET!@\
Joe of cours, so bnack to trailer.

ALL ETHE PEOPL OF THE EARTH SURROND jesuS THE CRIST AND ME AND MEL GIBSON ARET THERE AND WE HURT HUR T HURT HIM.

The ttrailer ends wiht me< JOE MCPUPPET pulling out a rocket geraned laucher from my pocket and saying (two shot) to Mel "wanna do iit?" MEL: "You hate him more than me old frreind! Fuck him up!"

Me: Okay@!

Lass t shot of TRAILER: KA FUCKING BOOM!Q (let you mind work a little and you can ONLY imagine how coool mel an dme can make that look -- like him swallowing the damn grenade in his mouth, "Oh shit GULP" down the tube to tummy. A high five on my part from my friends in this wolrd, mel in cluded, all laughing, 3, 2, 1!

KABOOOOOOOM! The splatter qwil annoy you and at teh same time give you the biggest stiffy you ever hade unless you are a girl and then you get wet.

Wow! THis movie isgonna Rule. Gimme a call, hoolywood.

Or don't you like money$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!

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