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I'm Joe McPuppet! I used to have a life! I wrote plays for children and perfromed them at Sunday School for the Children! Then I nearly died and guess who didn't show up!

Saturday, February 07, 2004

,
HOW DID THEY FUCK THISSS ONE UP?!


The UNForhgiven” The movie

Gimmea a break. I mean, that has nothing to do with the Song “UNForgvine” which theye made the movie FROM , yes BASED THIS MVIE ON THE SONG–it’s by Meatllica!, which is the GREatesT Song,

is NOT about a a COWOBY! Soeme old dudde a COWBOY! GET with It:

NOT ABOUT A COWB(OY< HOOLLYWYOOD!
GREAT: Lyics:
New blood joins this earth
and quikly he's subdued
through constant pain disgrace
the young boy learns their rules

COWBOY!?
with time the child draws in
this whipping boy done wrong
deprived of all his thoughts
the young man struggles on and on he's known
a vow unto his own
that never from this day
his will they'll take away

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub thee unforgiven

they dedicate their lives
to running all of his
he tries to please them all
this bitter man he is
throughout his life the same
he's battled constantly
this fight he cannot win
a tired man they see no longer cares
the old man then prepares
to die regretfully
that old man here is me]


YEAH YEAH, UNFORGIVEN< DUB ME UNFORGIVEEN!
DUB JOE UNFORGVIIEN!

Thi s old cowboy is weak ana weird and his mama dies and his little brother an sister are tired so he get sosme black guy tot hel p him get it on wiwh some whowres and then kill the whwores and then everyone in the town especially this lame ass caparenter or some shit who builds houses for everyone and they all have dricks at the SAME bar where he kills them .

I don’t expcect much from Hollwywoowd, Never Mind the MOoovies with Releieigous content –I’m –p[ast all that I mean fuck all taht, but

C’mnon HOLLYWOOD get the luyrics right at least!!!

Friday, February 06, 2004

UNFORGIVEN!!!

THee no shit GRRreattest Son g of al TIME! REPEAT: The greattest Song of All TIME! BY a a band called MEtalicA!

YOu must cheeck it out! I heard it toda ay at the music sotre and boughht it AND the movie they Made oUt of the Song!

I'm ttelling you I likeeed this song so much I maede the purchase of the MOvie They made out of the song which i s also enttitled "UNfforgivn>" Gonna go wathc it now. YES, Bandadages hurt, YES, Stomach pump not fun, but I"M learining about music and movies andn sever the ehad off RIcjhard J, Ashely and THREOW JESUS IN THERE too!

"And they call me Unforhgivne..." IT's my story. I Hope the movie don't ssuck too bad! TUNE IN TOMOoOROW

Thursday, February 05, 2004

LET"s GET TECHNICAL!

JOe has been in ahostipal and knowas about Docctors, so:

A SUiCIde Attemp is usually Two Thigs:

1_) is a re rlease from a pain aand on to a beetter place
: Well, c'mon, where' Im Goiing IS GOING TO SUCK! ADJd I KNOW it, I" ve been there, have no planas to get babck quick! No, This s reason i s out!

2 - A CRY FRO Heelp! JoE SEZ: OTO WHO!? TO myu Savior Jesussu Christ!?! I'm gtggonna ask him for HLPE?! He wwas ordering hiss second copy of BEACHS on Amaazon dod com whilwe Joe was whwistling DIxie at the Pearly Gatets - (JC the Suck Savior needs s that ssecond copy jus t in case, you knww the firs t one break and he NEEDS to see it sssoo bad , sos the PROTECTION COPY to poop in the VCER and WHEW! CRISSIS Avereted

and alla the time JO is humming aand waiting, thrinking about handshak vesus hug , wowndering about the beard (did he keeep it?0) all the quewstiosns like " is JOel reallly gay awwnd willhe mak e it up her, and wha't's with the message about not playaing iwth Star waRs no more, and hey, I " odn't understand this or that fucking bible passage you fuck wannan explain bnuvbgt no shos NO SHOW

SO I ASK YOU, how does JOe ask for HELP there, llllet along CRY!

It's alal bullshit.. Taht's why.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

"SACRIFICE"

OnE WORD

"SACRIFICE"

Let us not forrrget that Jesus ha d his s DAy! I meaan< I wil neeever degrade that!

Let's llook at it: a Heaveenly beeing, unlike you and me, borrrn to heaven, He's GOD' S SON! Born in Heavean? SUre. Born tot h the most Perfectr Father of alll time? Sure.

Priveledged! Sometimes people say" Oh, the Son of the Man.' Like th e kid who grw up with a reich and powerful dude as the Father. How about this: "The Son of GOD!" That's rich, and privledged and down right spoiled!

EXCEPT! This son does't join Peac Corp or ccC before running back to daddy to run the Shssoe Factory, NO! This Son, this Fortunate Son, he dosn'te rebel ata alll!

Dad says: Son, go to Earth, iit's par to f my plan. You wiwiw l go thterer and be strripped of all thiis mellow times and you will eat shit and get fuc ked and die hard. Okay?

Jesus: Okay!

(Yep, satrting to hate him again, but wait..._)

Jesus goes and yes at first it's a party evereey one is annointing him an d old men in temples thtitnk he is the best and ssmartest THEN people lov ehim and a a foollow him (I HAVEE NEW INSTIGHT THIS IS A TOTAL BUMMER FOR THE JESUS, CUZ HE WOULD RATHER BEE SAPACING OUT A TTHE TUBE) so props to the J-man for that! And he kicks aaas s at the Temple kicks shit around, alot to like here.

then he dies. All weeak like, but makes it work.
Cuz he comes back -- not dead at all. And could have kicked some assserisou ass here, UNDEAD JESUS vs. ROMAns- Guess WhOO WINS - NOT THE ROMANS< FUCKER!

But just saysss HEy, I'm Back, see ya in Heavane.

Then WHOOSH! upstairs. Dad: Nice job, IMPOERtant JOb, noww res t (THIS PART IS ALL GUEESSING CUZ I NEVCER MET THE FUCKER EVEN THOUGH I WAS PROMESIED PROMISED THA THE"D BE THER< NO SHOw!)

And Jesus thinks "I did a a wonderful thing For Mankid" and sink sink sinks sssssinkd sinks into the couch!

NEVER TO GET up!


What have done for me lately, Richard J!T
the only scacrfice is to leavea you r hands alone wiwwhth a harlot! ASHELQY!

"sACRrifice!" That word came frrom your e-mail. Here'ss your word for the day (an d I'n not unlike Jesuss in the Temple kcicking ass ssense, not thte forgiving rasis your from dead CUZ TGhat" NOT going to happen, RIchard j!!!!! Learrn this word "Veageance!"

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

DISASTER!

Ahshley and Richard J met!@! And guess who wasn't tthere to stop it?! (See title above).

More later!!! AGGRARGH! I HATE HIM!


Is my Blog HOT
or NOT?


Monday, February 02, 2004

MY NEW CAR PARRT TWO – ASHELY LAUGHS – MY FAITH RESOTREED (NOT IN WHO YOU THINNNK!) – AN EEPXPLANATION OF TRUE COOL

Took the ee room too samall. Why eslse to Get the Car?! WHY ELS?! I KNOW ansd so do you! Soooon!

Drriving feels good. Purpose. Where else? Forest Lawn: the sight of the NEW IDEA: The Temple of Joe!

Of cours, JeSUS LAUGHS! There is AHSlEY an d Connmpany! Not a t the good place: but at OUR Place:

AShely: Where did you get THahat car?

Joe: “SomeYOUone” (mayseterious) toold me to ge it.

Laugher.

AHSHLEY never LOST asomeone she believe in, cux SHE NEVE BELIEVE IN NOTHING!

Maybe YOU, DEAR READER,

don”T believe.
! Don't ?Beleive in What Joe isssaying here, that Joe ehas found a a new path and a neww ONE to follow! Here I s an explanation of why Joe believin in something ANYTHING after THE GREAT DISS:

I preseent Evidence #1
A Play by Richard J: EENtitbled :

SPirtitual Warfare!

PUPPETZ WILD! PUPPETZ WILD! PUPPETZ WILD!


ThIS PLAY IS TO HELP CHILDREN UNDERSTAND THAT JESUS LOVES
THEM AND WLL CONTINUE TO LOVE THEM THROUGH THICK & THIN,
EVEN IF THEY DIE IN WHAT SEEMS TO BE A “SUICIDAL” RAMPAGE
AGAINST “INNOCENTS”. THERE IS NO GREATER HONOR THAN TO LAY DOWN ONE'S LIFE IN THE ONGOING BATTLE AGAINST SATAN'S DEMONIC FORCES WHICH ARE VERY MUCH A PART OF 21ST CENTURY LIFE. WHILE THE THREE "R'S" ARE IMPORTANT, KIDS NEED TO LEARN TO MAKE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE FOR THEIR SAVIOR.

THE SCENE IS A FIELD WITH A SOLITARY TREE. FROM A BRANCH ON
THE TREE HANGS A PUPPET IN ROBES. THE PUPPET IS WEARING A
CRUCIFIX. THE LIGHTS RISE SLOWLY AS THE HANGED PUPPET SWINGS SLOWLY BACK AND FORTH.

ONTO THE STAGE COME TWO BOY PUPPETS
NAMED JOEL AND RICHARD. THEY STOP AT THE BASE OF THE TREE.

RICHARD
It looks like another Christian warrior
has been brought down by those who would
rather exist in chaos.

JOEL
I don't want to be killed for my beliefs!
Maybe chaos isn't so bad.

Richard draws a dagger from his scabbard and stabs Joel in
the side.

JOEL (CONT'D)
Aaaggghhh! You've stabbed me! My
flesh...how it hurts!

RICHARD
How do you like that for chaos?! Is that
really how you want to live? Without a
solemn pledge to win the spiritual war
against demonic forces, that wound will
be the least of your worries!

JOEL
But you have committed an act of violence
against me when I have done nothing
wrong!

Richard stabs Joel again, this time with more force.

RICHARD
You have committed the gravest of
wrongs!!!

JOEL
Aaaggghhhh!!! Oh dear Lord! I am
seriously wounded and fear for my safety
from this madman who was once my friend!

RICHARD
Ah, Joel...I am still your friend. Your
best friend. It is your enemies who will
lie to you about salvation!

JOEL
I am confused...you (cough) are (cough)
my friend?

Hugging Joel and patting him briskly on the back. Joel makes
a strained noise under his breath.

JOEL (CONT'D)
Yiee....ooh...

Richard pushes Joel away with a sudden motion.

RICHARD
That sound...you are invoking demons! You
are no better than this heathen!!
(Richard points to the hanged man)

JOEL
Richard, please. I will fight with you
against the demonic forces. I am your
friend and you can trust me.

Richard throws a piece of rope with a noose on one end over
the tree branch.

RICHARD
You know what is to happen now, my
friend...

Richard points to Joel, then points to the noose now hanging
from the tree.

JOEL (IN A DEMONIC VOICE)
How?!! How did you know of my true
intent?!

A red light emanates from beneath the Joel puppet.

RICHARD
As a spiritual warrior, I have been
chosen by Jesus to trust my heart of
hearts and not fear repercussions from a
corrupt law. Those who are chosen know it
within themselves and are willing to do
what God wills them to do.

A white light emanates from beneath the Richard puppet and
the Joel puppet begins walking towards the noose.

JOEL (IN A NORMAL VOICE)
How did you know a demon had possessed me
when I did not even know?!

RICHARD
No time for your trickery, demon! Put
your head through that noose!

Joel begrudgingly puts his head through the noose. Richard
begins pulling the other end of the rope.

JOEL (DEMON VOICE)
I will not be the last to test you, oh
Richard! The battle is just beginning!
You will never defeat the great Satan.
You cannot win this spiritual war!!!

Richard gives a great tug on the rope as the lights go out. A
cracking sound is heard. From the darkness, Richard's voice.

RICHARD
While many will not understand the harsh
stance a warrior must make, I have been
assured my place in Heaven.

Curtain.


JOE AGAIN: I think I’m in good hands!

Sunday, February 01, 2004

HERE IT IS!


One 87 Civic !!!!

Not as EaSY to finda as yosu'd Think! BUt I GOT it, RIchard J! REqusting furthR insturctions!

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