CHRIST NEVER SHOWED UP!

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF

I’m Jack Grey. This is not my real name. Nor it is Jakob Gradus. Nor is it Jeremy Glassner. I generally do stick to some variation on these initials. Which is why I find it astounding that my host and current benefactor, Joe McCain, if that’s his real name, insists on calling me E.G.

There is a lot to wonder about this man. But I must insist that he is a good man.

For example, I now sit alone in his apartment, which is no Taj Mahal, but it is filled with many items, all of them brand new, that a man without a home would gladly take. He would sell them, this man, and buy drugs or booze or women, whatever was his particular poison.

For all my host knows, I am that man. I found him last night hurting four men in an alley. These were helpless men, lost men. I found myself drawn to this whirling demon, his complete surrender to anger, to his utter lack of remorse, or was it a lack of worry about recompense?

Intrigued, I allowed myself to become the fifth man who he hurt that evening.

Then we got to talking.

And we ended up back here. No sex. No more need to hurt. To be honest, I would have accepted both from him. For a warm bed. And a belief in love.

I don’t believe in a real love. But I am amazed that Joe McCain would motor off this morning in his little beat-up car and just leave a desperate awful man like me here.

But I won’t take Joe McCain’s expensive stuff. Mostly because it wouldn’t do me any good.

But I lie, it’s because I’m damned and Joe isn’t!

I’ll post this and Joe can delete it later, but even if you didn’t read it, it was good knowing you.

EG